Fifty Shades Darker Drinking Game

Drink When

Anyone says “Ana”
Anyone says “Christian”
A text message pops up
You see the stalker girl
They have sex
You hear another R&B song

“No rules, no punishments, and no more secrets. You want a, what do you call it, “a vanilla relationship”?”

– Anastasia Steele

Watch the trailer

A sequel should always up the ante. Sure, the first movie was pretty tame, but things are only going to get kinkier from here… right? Wrong. This movie should really be called Fifty Shades More Well-Adjusted, as Christian Grey has largely given up his kinky, obsessive nature in favour of an exclusive and committed relationship to Ana, in which he showers her with gifts and ample amounts of cunnilingus. But don’t worry, he still finds time for an occasional spank in between protecting Ana from not one, but two new stalkers. Yes, it’s terrible, but that’s what you get when you make a movie out of a literary masturbatory aid.